Just a Dream
by SofiaSofiaSofia
Summary: Callie dies as a result of the injuries she sustained during the crash. Arizona and Mark must learn how to live without her and how to get along enough to raise the little girl she left them with.
1. Goodbyes

**A/N: First off, let me say that I love, love, love Callie and I'm so glad this didn't happen on the show. But I am not afraid to write tough stuff. Also, this story will be more like a ficlet/mini-fic than a full story, but there will be a few chapters.**

Some dreams feel so real that people wake up convinced that they actually happened. They are so vivid and intense that they couldn't possibly be just a dream. It feels like they were just in that particular moment. Emotional and even physical reactions can take over. Nightmares often trigger intense feelings that may not ease for a few minutes until reality sets in.

Reality may not ever set in through. Some nightmares are real. It is not possible to wake from every nightmare and feel safe and sound in bed again. No, some nightmare must be lived. The sunrise or the beeping alarm clock won't make these go away.

Arizona kissed Callie's forehead. The tears were flowing for sure, but other than that, the room was eerily silent. The monitors and machines weren't beeping or humming. They were unnecessary now. Everything was still and shockingly final.

"I love you," was all Arizona could manage to say. "I love you so much, okay?"

She squeezed Callie's lifeless hand and the fact that Callie didn't squeeze back hit her like a ton of bricks.

Eight days ago, Callie had been a vibrant, healthy woman. She had been soaking up every second of fun at her baby shower. Now Arizona was wishing that she had just tried a little harder to enjoy what would be her love's final hours as herself.

She felt horrible guilt over it all now. She had given Callie such a hard time about everything lately. Adjusting to the thought of raising a child with Mark Sloan had been difficult and she had let her girlfriend know exactly how much she didn't like it.

She couldn't help but wonder what would've been different if she would have just kept her mouth shut a little more often. After all, Callie had arranged for them to go to the B&B because of how much she knew Arizona needed a Mark-free weekend. They wouldn't have been in that car at all if it hadn't been for that. She had throw Callie's phone into the backseat, which had prompted Callie to remove her seatbelt and reach back to retrieve it. They had started fighting and that lead to distractions while driving. Would her girlfriend still be alive if she had done things differently? The logical part of her told her that there was no point in obsessing over these events, but she couldn't stop herself.

"I love you," she said again.

Alex walked into the room and handed his attending a glass of water. He didn't say anything because there wasn't much to say and it wasn't his place anyway. He just wanted her to know that the entire Seattle Grace-Mercy West staff was there for her.

"Thanks," she said, wiping away a few tears.

She thought a step ahead and panicked. She thought she knew Alex's real reason for coming in. "I'm not ready yet," she said, not wanting to accept just yet that Callie's body would have to be taken to the morgue.

"I know," he said.

"I need more time," she said. "We needed more time!"

"Yeah," he nodded. "We got a hold of her family. Her parents are on their way."

"Okay, Alex, can I have a minute?"

"Sure," he replied, stepping out.

Arizona sat in silence. All she could do was cry and stare at her girlfriend's body in disbelief. How was Callie dead? How could this happen? Why? She was supposed to grow old with Callie Torres. They were supposed to raise their little girl together. Now, who knew what was going to happen.

"You listen to me," she told her girlfriend. "We have a gorgeous girl. Looks just like you, Calliope. She's struggling. It's really bad. I need you to look out for her, okay? I'm sure you already are. Of course. You're her Madre. But I need her to be okay, Callie. If I lose you both..."

The remainder of her sentence was masked with sobs. The thought was far too painful. It hadn't fully hit her that she'd have to live without Callie, but still. The thought of losing the baby too was just too much.

About twenty minutes later, Miranda Bailey walked into the room. "Sloan wants..."

"Sloan has nothing to do with this," she said. "She's my girlfriend, not his."

"I know that," he said. "But he'd really like a chance to say goodbye, Robbins."

"No."

She didn't do it often, but Bailey decided to back off. She hadn't been through what Arizona was going through right now. She had no words of wisdom this time. There was no speech to give.

Arizona's pager went off. She wasn't working, so she knew it was the NICU alerting her to something having to do with their micro-preemie.

Her heart dropped even further into her stomach. The baby needed her, but she couldn't make herself leave Callie's side yet. "What do I -?"

"We won't move her," Bailey promised. "Go. She'll be here."

"Will you come with me?" she asked, suddenly realizing she felt a little faint.

"Yep."

* * *

><p>Baby was stabilized by the time Arizona and Bailey got to the NICU. They were told that Mark had also been paged, and he had come ahead of them, but he had left already. Visits with their daughter were painfully short today. Her madre was everybody's focus. They felt horrible about this, but grief had simply overwhelmed them. They didn't have any positive energy to surround the tiny girl with right now.<p>

Bailey brought Arizona back to Callie's room. To Arizona's horror, Mark was in there with Callie. He was saying his own goodbyes.

"Get away from her," Arizona ordered.

"I –"

"I don't care. Get away from her, Mark!"

"No."

"What the hell do you mean 'no?'"

"No."

"She's my girlfriend," Arizona said, not able to say "she was" yet. "Mine, Sloan. Not yours. Knocking her up doesn't mean anyt-"

"I'm her best friend."

"That would be me, actually," she said.

"Okay," Bailey cut in. "Do you two think this is actually what Torres would want? I know you're grieving, but what about Callie?"

"I'm not leaving again," Arizona said.

"Did I say you had to?" Mark asked. "No."

Arizona sat down next to him and reached for Callie's hand again.


	2. Sofia's Mommy

"I just went to check on Baby," Mark told Arizona three days later at the funeral home.

Callie's funeral was tomorrow, but today was the second showing. They were finding it especially tough to find the time – as well as the physical and emotional energy - to go spend with the little one. Arizona hadn't been today, but he wanted her to know that everything was still about the same when it came to her medical condition.

If he was being completely honest, his real reason for telling Arizona this at this very moment was because he wanted an excuse to check in with her. Asking if she was okay was pointless; that wasn't possible right now. Mark just hoped that if he started the conversation, Arizona would know he was there if she needed anything. Somehow they had ended up having to be there for each other and now was as good a time as any to start letting her know he did care about her.

"And...?" she asked, accepting the tissues he handed her and dabbing her wet baby blues.

"Still the same."

"Oh."

"She's not getting worse," he pointed out. "It's not bad news."

"Yeah."

"She's tough," Mark said. "That's for sure."

"Just like her madre."

"Yep," he nodded, smiling as he remembered back on his best friend's feisty personality.

They both started getting choked up over the realization that Callie was gone. It didn't seem true. They had to fight away the illogical thoughts that she wasn't really dead. Obviously she was, but they just couldn't imagine actually having to spend every single day of the rest of their lives without her. Sure, they felt some peace knowing that Callie's suffering had ended, but they felt like theirs may never cease.

Mark fought away most of his tears, but a few did escape as he wrapped his arms around Arizona. Watching her heart break was making it doubly difficult. They may not have always seen eye-to-eye, but he didn't want to see anybody this upset.

"At least you still have her," Arizona eventually got out.

If he hadn't been thinking the exact same thought, it would have been impossible to make out. Her choice of words concerned him, though.

"Robbins, you get that you're Mommy, right?"

"Still?" she asked, still wrapping her arms around his strong frame.

"Still," he confidently nodded. "Callie wanted you to be a part of her life. You love her. I know that."

"Thank you."

"Of course," he said.

He was still nervous about how raising his baby girl with Arizona would go. As he had said, they didn't always agree, but they had always had Callie there to step in and play referee. Now that that wasn't the case anymore, decisions would be tougher to make. He was worried that opposing opinions and parental tensions would have a negative impact on the little one's upbringing. He didn't want this at all, yet he also didn't want to leave Arizona out. His heart was telling him that this was the right call.

Arizona felt relief. She had been so nervous that Mark would try to cut her out of the baby's life; honestly, she wasn't sure she could handle that. She didn't have Callie anymore, but she needed the baby. That little girl was a perfect little piece of her girlfriend and she would surely help heal their hearts.

* * *

><p>Mark was flipping through a book full of baby names one of the NICU nurses had left there for him. He wasn't actually looking at any of the choices. He couldn't. They had just buried his best friend, the mother of his child, today. After such a tough day, it was no surprise that he couldn't focus on the book of names right now. Plus, it was only a formality; he already knew what her name would be. He wasn't even sure why he had the book in his hand, or why naming the little one had taken twelve days.<p>

He felt someone behind him and turned to see that Arizona had just walked in. "Oh, hey," he said, a little surprised that she had found the energy to come tonight. He figured she'd take one more night to herself before returning to the NICU.

"Pick any?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Names," she said.

"Oh," he realized. "Yeah. Sofia."

"Perfect."

It had been Callie's number one girl choice since the beginning of the pregnancy. Apparently, she had liked it since she was a little girl, and had even owned a raven haired doll who now shared the name with their tiny daughter.

"Yep."

Mark hadn't loved the name when Callie mentioned it. It was okay, but it never seemed like "the name" to him. Now, it seemed like no other name measured up to it. It's meaning – "wisdom" – also seemed especially fitting right now. He was desperately hoping for a little wisdom these days. Doing what was best for Sofia seemed like such a daunting task without Callie's approval.

"Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres."

"Seriously?" Arizona questioned, feeling overwhelmed that Mark had chosen to honour her like this.

Letting her be in Sofia's life was one thing; letting her be in Sofia's name showed just how serious he was about it, though. Plus, she loved that the baby would have Callie's last name. She had just assumed she would a Sloan now, but she was glad that they'd be continuing the long line of strong-willed Torres ladies.

"Yep," he nodded. "You should have Mommy's last name in there, right?" Mark asked little Sofia. "She loves you!"

"I do," Arizona told her.

"We can do this, Mommy," Mark said. "Somehow."

"Yeah."

"God knows I can't do it alone," he added. "And she's already lost one mom. She needs you."

"How will this work, though?"

"We'll figure it out as we go," he said.

"Thank you, Mark," she replied. "I know I've said that about a thousand times since yesterday, but it means a lot."

"It's what Callie would want," he said. "And you'll be a great mom. It's the least I could do. Sofia's lucky to have you."

"She's pretty lucky to have you, too," she told him. "And trust me, that's not something I ever, ever thought I'd be saying."

He smiled. "Thanks," she said. "I'm sorry about everything I said when..."

"I know you are," he nodded. "It's forgiven."

"Good."


	3. Welcome Home

**This update is up way later than I wanted it to be. Sorry! I've been busy with school and just found myself too tired when I did have the time. But it's up now and I'm hoping that the next one can be up by Tuesday at the latest. I can't promise that, but I'll really, really try.**

* * *

><p>"It's crazy," Mark said as he helped Arizona put the finishing touches on Sofia's room at her place.<p>

It had been three months since Callie's death, but the pain was still just as fresh. It would hit them at times like these – the day before their daughter would come home – that they really hadn't talked to Callie in three months. It still seemed so unreal, almost as if she could just walk through the door and they could resume their "normal" lives at any moment.

"Yep," Arizona sighed.

They couldn't bring Callie home and they didn't know if they would ever fully accept that. However, Sofia was doing significantly better than she had been. She was just about two ounces shy of six pounds and she would only need to be on oxygen overnight for awhile when she got home. None of her other issues were still causing major problems. Her parents knew that Sofia wasn't like the typical three-month-old, and that she may have delays, but so far, so good. She was certainly a miracle baby.

"She's gonna love this," he said, looking around the room.

It was yellow and white with lots of feminine touches all around. Family pictures – including the last ones of her madre – were already proudly displayed on her bright walls.

When he was trying to think of ideas for her room at his place, he couldn't come up with a single one. Finally, he came up with the perfect theme. The walls were a dusty rose colour with white tree decals up on them along with other nature-like elements. It was just girly enough for his little princess and it captured her first nickname – "The Mighty Oak" – so sweetly. It might have been cheesy, but he thought she'd enjoy it. She had certainly proved herself to be small, but mighty.

"We should have some kind of party."

"Huh?"

It was as if the word "party" was entirely foreign to him. Parties involved fun and there wasn't much fun being had these days. Between NICU visits, work, preparing to bring the baby home, and trying to do just about anything not to think about Callie all day long – which then lead to guilt over not wanting to think about her – they were just too worn out for any fun lately.

"So much has been sad," she explained. "Her whole life has been so sad. We need to start celebrating her."

"I don't think throwing a big party for a preemie who's fresh out of the hospital is the best call."

"Well, it's not like we'll have strangers around. All of these people have already been around her."

"True. Fine."

"Sorry," she said. "It's just...I'm sick of feeling like this."

"You don't have to tell me that," he said. "I get it. Yeah."

"I don't want her to always have to live with Callie's death hanging over her head."

"Yeah."

"I can't believe I didn't want kids," she said as she hung the lowercase "I" in her daughter's name on the wall. "And then I warmed up to the idea because Callie'd be here and she'd be such an amazing mom. And she's not even here."

"I say it way too much, but it's just so unfair," Mark nodded.

"I mean, I didn't want kids because things happen to them. Then I end up the single mommy of a micro-preemie and I wouldn't trade her for the world."

He smiled. "Nope."

"We can really do this, right?" she asked. "Raise her to be as good of a person as Callie'd would've?"

"Yes," he said. "That or she'll be really, really messed up."

She laughed.

* * *

><p>"Sofia," Arizona smiled as they walked over to their daughter the next morning.<p>

She had been in the regular nursery since yesterday, since she was no longer sick enough to need the NICU. She had passed her carseat test last night they'd been told, so she was all set to be discharged.

"She had a bit of a fussy night," the nurse explained. "But that's just the reflux. She's good to go."

"Yeah," Arizona nodded. "Her dad's signing the discharge papers right now."

"Good," she replied. "It's about time she get to go home."

"It is," she agreed as she picked the little girl up. "Huh, Baby Girl?" Sofia let out a little cry as Arizona's lips kissed the top of her head. "Oh, shh," she replied. "I'm mommy. Mommy kisses are a good thing, Silly!"

"You're all set, Sofia," Mark announced as he walked in. "You get to go home."

Arizona "clapped" one of Sofia's little fists against the other. "Yay!" she cheered quietly. "You ready?"

"All we've gotta do is put your little outfit on," Mark said, getting it out of his daughter's diaper bag. He handed it to Arizona. The tiny little girl would be wearing a bright orange little dress home. She was still in preemie sizes, but soon all of her "big girl" clothing would probably fit.

"You're gonna look gorgeous," Arizona told the baby as she dressed her. "Not that that's hard for such a pretty baby, but you will."

Mark took the matching flower headband out of the bag as well. "Is this necessary?"

"Yes," Mommy nodded as she took it from him. "It is. It's pretty. Right, Sofia?"

"Fine."

"Say 'Daddy, just be happy I'm gettin' out of this place!'"

"Oh, we're happy," Mark said. "That's for sure, Sof."

"Yep!" Arizona smiled. "Mommy and Daddy like it here. This is our work. It was Madre's work, too. But we thought it was pretty yucky that you had to be in here. This is no place for such a new little girl, is it?"

Derek walked in. He was really there to check on the suspicious neurological symptoms one of the babies seemed to exhibit, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't timed the visit with Sofia's departure.

"It's Uncle Derek, Baby," Mark told her.

Derek came and picked the little one up as soon as Mommy had finished dressing her.

"You're goin' home, aren't you?" he smiled. "No more hospital for you, right?"

"Right," Mark nodded. "Now give me my kid," he smiled, reaching out his arms. "We kinda wanna get her home as soon as we can. We've had enough of her not being home."

Derek kissed her and handed her to her daddy. "Here."

"Say 'bye, Uncle Derek!'" Mark smiled.

"Oh, we're having a party," Arizona told Derek.

"A party?" he questioned.

"A bit of a 'welcome home' thing," Mark explained. "Friday."

"Okay," he smiled.

"Because we need a little celebration," Arizona added. "We've decided. Haven't we, Sofia?"

"Good idea," Derek nodded. "Auntie Meredith and I'll have to do our best to make it."

Mark kissed his daughter. He had to admit that the ridiculous flower headband wasn't all that bad. It kind of suited the baby, actually.

"Time to go home," Arizona smiled.

"Finally!" Mark agreed. "Let's go, Pretty Girl."

* * *

><p>"Welcome home, Sof," Mark smiled as he walked through his doorway with Sofia in his arms for the first time.<p>

This was a moment he'd been looking forward to ever since Callie told him she was pregnant. It was supposed to be one of the most joyous times of their life, and it was, but it was also sad now. He hadn't imagined it going anything like this. He hadn't thought that Sofia would be a preemie, or that Callie would miss out on her whole life. The lack of her presence was hard to take. He wanted this to be a celebratory moment, but that wasn't completely possible yet. He just hoped it would be one day.

"This is Daddy's place," Arizona told her, trying to force the happiness to come. She too was thrilled to have Sofia home, but this wasn't nearly as easy as they had wanted it to be.

"Mommy lives across the hall," Mark added. "Sometimes you'll go there, and sometimes you'll be here."

"You get two pretty rooms just for you."

Mark kissed his little girl's head. "Uh huh," he nodded as he walked back to the nursery. "Look," he said, holding Sofia up a little so she could see the room. Clearly, she wasn't looking, but that wasn't really the point.

"It's nicer here than it is in the NICU, right?" Arizona asked.

Sofia started fussing. She wasn't too unhappy, but her little cries let them know that she needed something from them. "What's the problem?" Daddy wondered.

"It's just about bottle time," Arizona realized.

"Should we see about getting you some formula?" he asked. "You love that stuff, don't you?"

* * *

><p>Friday rolled around and Arizona yawned as she fed Sofia. Her welcome home party was starting soon, but the hosts were pretty worn out. They hadn't really had a good night's sleep since the accident, and the baby didn't really help matters.<p>

"How come nobody tells you bringing a premature baby home is hell?"

"Because they'd just sound like a terrible person," Mark said. "Plus, she's worth it."

"Well, yeah."

"And this is just a phase. She will sleep through the night one day."

Arizona looked down into Sofia's eyes. "One day soon, please," she requested.

"Tell me about it."

"She'd love this," Arizona said, obviously referring to Callie. "And we're complaining."

"We're not complaining about the baby," he justified. "She's awesome. It's just the lack of sleep."

"True," she yawned.

"And she'd be complaining, too," he said. "You and I both know it."

She laughed. "Okay, true," she agreed. "But still. I mean, we made it through residency and a six pound baby has us losing our minds?"

There was a knock on the door and Mark went and answered it. "Hello," he said, surprised to see Cristina on the other side of the door. "You're the first person to show up? You know this is a party for a baby, right?"

"I'm her Godmother," Cristina said, walking in. "Owen said I had to come."

"Well, thanks."

"Where is Owen?" Arizona asked.

"In surgery," she said. "Where I should be."

"Auntie Cristina does love you," Mommy told her little girl just as she finished her bottle. "You all finished? Good."

"But I should be in surgery," Cristina told Sofia. "It's where I belong. Plus, I'm not your aunt. And definitely not your 'auntie.'"

Arizona handed the empty bottle to Mark and went to hand the baby over to Cristina.

"Oh, okay," Cristina said as she took her. "Apparently I'm holding you."

"Say 'I'm not so bad!'" Arizona said. "'And you know you love me.'"

"At least you're not screaming," Cristina said. "I do like that about you."

"Callie wanted you to be her Godmother why?" Mark questioned.

"Because I may not be good at bottles and diapers, but I will turn her into an amazing surgeon one day."

"Which is Auntie Cristina's way of saying she loves you," Arizona smiled.


	4. Birthday

Lexie walked into Arizona's apartment and was greeted by a cranky one-year-old. Today was her first birthday – a day that seemed so impossible to reach a year ago – and they were just spending it relaxing as a little family. The party was tomorrow, but today they were just planning to have a low-key fun day just the four of them. It was a rare occurrence that all three adults had the same day off, so this was just as special as the following day's party would be.

"Why are you sad?" she asked. "It's your happy birthday!"

"She just bumped her head," Arizona replied as she made lunch.

Even though most little ones her age were more mobile, Sofia's prematurity had held her back some. They were confident she would catch up, but she was still just working on mastering the coordination it took to crawl.

"You're okay," Mark reassured his little princess. "Look. Lexie's here!"

This got a smile out of her. After all, she did love her daddy's girlfriend. Mark and Lexie had been back together for about seven months now, and things were working out well between them. Lexie had come to trust Mark again, and to realize that being a part of Sofia's life was actually pretty awesome. It had taken some time to get this comfortable with it, but it was worth it now that they were adjusted to the situation.

The little girl let out a series of babbling sounds that showed just how excited she was. She didn't use actual words just yet, but she was definitely expressive.

Lexie took the little girl from her daddy. "Is that 'Hi, Lexie!'" she asked. "Huh?"

"Sofia, lunch is ready," Mommy announced.

"What's for your special birthday lunch, Big Girl," Lexie asked.

"Take a guess," Mark asked.

Already, Sofia was starting to go through a picky phase. She had started to eat more "big girl" foods and it felt like the only thing she ever wanted was macaroni and cheese. Of course, they gave her other foods, but she wasn't too interested in them. As a compromise, Arizona had started hiding vegetables in the dish as a way to make it better for their girl.

"Macaronis!" Lexie smiled, getting a giggle out of the birthday girl.

"Tell Lexie to put you in your highchair so we can eat," Mark said. "'Cause after lunch, guess what?"

"I think you get some visitors," Arizona told Sofia. "Grandma and Grandpa and Abuelo and Abuela all coming on airplanes!"

Even though their relationship had been less than perfect when their daughter died, Callie's parents were making an effort to be as involved in Sofia's life as possible. Callie's mom was still less than comfortable with calling Arizona Sofia's mommy, but Mr. Torres had insisted she try and make peace with it. Sofia was one of the only parts of Callie they had left and he would do anything to have a relationship with her.

Arizona watched as Mark began to feed Sofia. She often wondered if she was just trying too hard to see it, but Sofia was Callie's mini-me. The more she grew, the more she looked like her madre. It was one of the things that was slowly helping close the gaping hole in Mommy's heart.

Unlike Mark, Arizona hadn't found love again. She had found it once, and she was still not able to let go. Callie's pictures were still hung everywhere, and it still felt like she was such an important part of their lives. The blanket that Callie had gotten as a gift when she first moved out of her parents' house was in a ball on the couch. Typically, it had always been kept neatly on the bed, but Sofia had taken an interest in its soft comfort lately. Her mommy was convinced, even though she logically knew better, that she had even heard the little girl mumble "Madre" while cuddling up with it one day.

"We'd better tidy up the apartment, huh?" Arizona asked. "For our company!"

"She's a toddler," Mark said. "They'll understand. People with toddlers have houses that look like tornados."

"You're officially a toddler!" Arizona told their daughter. "Stop growing up, okay?"

"Say 'I can't help that, Mama!'" Lexie said.

* * *

><p>"Yellow flowers," Mark pointed. "Aren't they pretty?"<p>

Arizona had gone to the airport to pick up both sets of grandparents, whose flights were getting in just about a half an hour apart. Meanwhile, Sofia was hanging out with Daddy and Lexie in Mark's living room reading a book. Arizona's had been cleaned up and organized, but his was still a maze of toys, books, and blankies.

Her pacifier fell from her mouth. "Oops!" Lexie smiled. "Put it back in."

Sofia picked it up and handed it to Daddy. "Daddy has to put it in?" he asked. "Sofia can too, you know."

Still, he put it in and they went back to their book. It was Sofia's favourite lately, and they had read the picture book for what felt like a billion times.

"Can we do something else, Birthday Girl?" he finally asked after it had been read for the fourth time in a row. "C'mon. You need a new diaper anyways."

They brought her into her room and she started resisting, knowing that a diaper change was coming. Now that she was working on crawling, she didn't like having to be still when she could be playing or just doing something far more exciting.

"Oh, it's just a couple minutes," Lexie told her. "It's okay."

"Here," Mark said as he put her down and reached for her bunny rabbit. "Give Bunny kisses and hugs."

"I bet he likes Sofia kisses," Lexie smiled.

Mark reached for a diaper and realized there were none there. "Uh oh!" he said. "Daddy ran out of diapers!"

"I forgot to tell you I used the last two yesterday," Lexie replied. "Sorry."

"We'll just go get one at Mama's, right?" Mark asked Sofia as he picked her up. He pressed a kiss into her black hair. "C'mon."

"Oh, hi!" Arizona smiled as they met up in the hallway. "Where are your pants, Silly?"

"We ran out of diapers," Mark explained.

He handed her over to her Grandma – Arizona's mom – and she began making fun faces. "Hi, Pretty Girl! Happy birthday!"

"Say 'thank you!'" Arizona signed.

Knowing that Sofia's speech would be delayed as a result of her early arrival, they had started using sign language with her in an effort to help her speech along.

Sofia signed it. "You're so smart!" Mr. Torres smiled. "And big!"

"Let's go get that new diaper," Grandma said. "Okay?"

"Then we'll have cake, Sof!" Arizona told her as she opened the apartment door.

"Did Mommy bake you a cake?" Grandpa asked.

"Well, Mommy's a surgeon. And a very busy mommy. But the very nice lady at the bakery down the street did a great job."

Sofia giggled.

* * *

><p>"Blow out the candle, Baby," Mark told his daughter as Arizona placed her cake in front of her.<p>

Arizona "helped" blow it out. "Yay!" everyone cheered.

She looked up at her Grandpa with a very confused look on her face. "You don't know why we're so happy, do you?" Daniel Robbins asked. "It's your birthday."

"This is how birthdays work," Lexie said.

Sofia stuck her hand into the cake. "Apparently that's the piece you want, huh?" Arizona asked.

She held her cake-covered hand over to Mark. She knew that her dirty hands had to be cleaned up when she ate, so that was what she was expecting him to do. "Eat it off," he told her. "Put it in your mouth."

Reluctantly, she brought her little hand to her mouth and tasted the chocolate icing. "Mmmm…"

"Good stuff, right?" Mr. Torres smiled.

Arizona looked over to Mark and they knew they each shared the same thought. This year they were worlds away from where they had been last year. Some of the pain would never leave them, but they had taken the broken pieces of their family and rebuilt it as best as they could for Sofia.


	5. Three

**Happy Season 8 premiere day!**

**Also, I forgot to post this as a part of the last update, but somebody was wondering if this fic really was just based on a dream. It is not. Nobody is dreaming. No one's going to wake up and fix it all. I couldn't get this idea out of my head, so I just wrote it. Though, Callie being alive is obviously still what I like best. I figured I'd challenge myself a little with this, though. And yes, I am a Calzona fan. Don't think that I'm not just because of this update. I just happen to want to see Arizona happy as well.**

* * *

><p>"How was school today?"<p>

Arizona and Mark now had a happy, healthy three-year-old on their hands. Any worries they ever had about her development were laughable now. They were lucky – or unlucky, depending on the day – to have a typical, chatty, energetic little princess.

"Dada pick Sofia up?" she asked.

"Daddy's busy at work," Arizona said, as she buckled Sofia into her carseat. "You get to see him later tonight, okay?"

"Busy, busy, busy."

"He's busy, busy, busy," Arizona smiled. "How was daycare?"

"School. Daycare gots babies, Mama."

"Of course," she replied. "You're three! You're not a baby! How was school?"

"Play house with my fend."

"You played house with your friend?" she smiled. "Which friend?"

"Jessa."

"Jessa?"

"Yes!" she said. "Listen, Mama!"

"Sorry," she replied, giving her a kiss. "Mama's a little distracted today."

"You wor'?" she asked.

"I did work," she nodded. "I worked with Daddy, actually. We fixed a little boy's ear."

"Good."

"Thanks, Sof."

* * *

><p>When they got home, Sofia quickly realized something was different about today. She and Mommy usually prepared dinner together, but not today. Today, Arizona popped in a children's CD and let Sofia dance around the bedroom as she picked out something to wear.<p>

"Do you think this is pretty?" she asked, taking out a blue dress and holding it up to herself.

"Yep," she said. "Blue."

"It is blue," she said. "Where else do you see blue in Mama's room?"

"Lots!" she giggled, referring to the blueish wall colour.

"Show Mama…three blue things," she said, holding up three fingers.

This was how she, Mark, and Lexie typically approached teaching her. They found that playing simple games like this taught her in the best way possible. She didn't even realize she was learning, and that made it fun. Being the type of dad who was determined to do everything perfect for his little girl, this had taken Mark some time to get used to. Over time, Mommy was able to prove to him that it was actually ideal for Sofia. She was a smart little girl who loved to learn because they were laid back about it.

Sofia pulled out one of her ponytails and held out the elastic, remembering that she had picked the blue ones this morning. They didn't exactly match her red and white dress, but Daddy had decided that didn't matter.

"That's one," Arizona said. "Did Daddy let you pick again?"

"Yep."

"I can tell," she laughed. "Where's something else blue?"

Sofia picked up the picture by Mommy's bedside. In it, Callie was wearing a blue shirt.

"Good job," Arizona smiled. "That's blue, too."

"Yes," she agreed.

"Who's that a picture of?"

"Mama," she smiled, kissing the picture.

"Mama and who else?"

"Madre."

"Madre," she nodded. "Right. We love Madre, huh?"

Sofia was still too young to understand exactly who her Madre had been, but she did like to point out Callie in pictures. They talked about Callie often, and Sofia would learn more and more as she grew older. For now, she just knew that she was her madre, and that she loved her.

"Love," she nodded.

* * *

><p>Sofia needed a potty break and then a snack, so Arizona took longer getting ready than she had hoped. "You should be at Daddy's by now," she said as she did her make-up.<p>

Sofia was messily applying her own eyeshadow, which Mommy would later wash off before they left.

"Oh."

Sofia looked up and Arizona couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm so pity?" Sofia asked.

Mommy nodded. "Oh, you look stunning, Ms. Torres!"

There was a knock on the door. "That's probably Daddy," Arizona said, getting up to go get the door. Needless to say, it wasn't Mark. Instead, it was Alena Felix – the new Neonatal Attending who also happened to be her date for the night.

Arizona had only been on a handful of dates since Callie had died. She just never felt the same way towards anyone else that she had toward Callie. However, she was giving Alena a chance.

"Oh, hi," she said. "I'm…not ready."

Part of her had to wonder what exactly she wasn't ready for – just this date, or dating in general. The nerves were unbelievable.

The blue-eyed brunette smiled. "That's fine," she said. "I can wait."

"Sofia's not even at Sloan's yet."

"Arizona, it's okay," she said.

"Thank you," she smiled.

Sofia walked out into the living room. "Oh, uh…" Arizona said, not sure how to introduce Alena to the little girl. She hadn't brought a woman into Sofia's life yet.

"You must be Sofia," Alena smiled.

"Yeah."

"Were you doing makeup with Mom?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"You are Mom, right?" Alena asked Arizona.

"Yep," Arizona nodded. "Calliope's Madre."

"Yeah," Sofia said.

"Mommy's told me a lot about you, Miss Sofia," Alena said.

"Oh."

"I promise I don't usually let her wear makeup," Arizona told Alena.

"Tell Mommy to relax," Alena told Sofia. "It's okay to have a little fun sometimes, huh?"

"You's pretty," Sofia said.

"Thank you," she smiled. "My name's Alena. I work with your mommy and daddy."

"And Lex."

"And Lexie," Arizona nodded. "Yes."

"Just give us a few minutes," Arizona said.

"Take all the time you need," Alena replied. "I'm early. Plus, you two were having fun."

* * *

><p>Arizona got herself ready within ten minutes, but Sofia was not so easy. After having her makeup washed off, she didn't want Mommy to do anything else. "Sof, your hair is a mess. Let me put new piggy tails in, please."<p>

"Why?"

"Because piggy tails are pretty cute," Alena said, trying to help out. "And you wanna look cute, right?"

"Daddy says I cute."

"Daddy says you're cute," Arizona nodded. "Yes. He's a little shallow. But, this time, I can't say he's wrong."

She smiled.

"So can I put piggies in your hair?"

"Baby Sof too?" she asked.

"I have to give Baby Sofia piggies, too?" she asked.

"Baby Sofia" was the doll that Callie's parents had given Sofia. It was the same doll that Callie had named Sofia as a child, and now her Sofia loved playing with her.

"Yes."

"Okay," she agreed. "Go get her."

* * *

><p>Both Sofias had pig tails by the time Daddy arrived to pick them up. "Are you ready to go, Baby Girl?" Mark asked, picking up his toddler and kissing her cheek.<p>

"Big girl," she insisted.

"Oh, sorry," he said. "Right. Big girl."

"Yeah."

"How was school?"

"Good," she said.

"Good."

"You have a good night, 'kay?" Arizona said, kissing her little girl. "Mommy'll see you soon."

"'Morrow?" she asked.

"Probably tomorrow," she nodded. "You'll sleep at Daddy's, but I'll stop by and say hi, okay?"

"Yeah."

Alena smiled as Mark and Sofia left. "She's such a lucky girl," she said. "It's great that you and Sloan have worked out what you have for her."

"I have no idea what I'd do without her," Arizona agreed. "To think that I never wanted kids is just crazy now."

"You didn't want kids? But you're in Peds."

"Treating a child and raising one are two completely different things," she said. "Especially raising one with somebody you didn't choose to raise one with."

"True," she said. "But still. You're a great mom."

"Thanks," she smiled. "Sorry we made you wait."

"Quit apologizing," she said. "Let's just go have dinner."

"Sounds great."


	6. Kindergarten

"I want to go to Kindergarten with you," Arizona heard her little girl telling Mark.

"I know, Sof," he said. "I'll try to meet you there. But first I have to go do a surgery. Mommy's gonna make you breakfast so Lexie and I can go work."

"You promise you'll meet me at Kindergarten?"

"I can't promise, Baby," he said. "But I'll really, really try."

"Good."

"And if not, then you can tell me all about it later."

"Yeah."

"Sound good, Sof?" Arizona asked, meeting her at the door.

"Big school's today!" she announced. "I can't believe it, Mommy!"

She laughed. "I can't believe it, either. What happened to teeny tiny baby you?"

"I growed."

"You did," she nodded. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"I don't know."

"Give me a kiss, Big School Girl," Mark said.

She looked up and he and Lexie both bent down to give her goodbye kisses. Luckily, she was fairly used to one of them having to quickly leave her with the other. This still didn't help Mark feel any less bad about possibly missing out on Sofia's first day of "big school," though.

"Bye Daddy," she said. "Bye Lexie. Try really your hardest."

"We will," Lexie promised.

"Okay, so what's for breakfast?" Arizona asked as she and Sofia entered the apartment.

"Toast with jelly and peanut butter."

"Again?" she asked. "Sofia, you've gotta try other stuff."

"But that's my favourite!"

"How about toast and some yogurt? Alena made it yesterday with fresh strawberries. It's really good."

"I just said toast."

"Try a little yogurt," she said.

"Fine."

"You're five, not fifteen," she told her. "What's with the attitude?"

"Because Mommy, you can't ask what I want and then say no."

"I can," she replied. "I'm the mommy."

Alena came out of the bedroom. "Hey, Big School Girl."

"Hi," Sofia smiled as she climbed up to the chair that they kept at the island.

Alena had moved in with them last year and Sofia loved having an extra playmate around. She wasn't totally sure how to explain why she had so many parents when her little friends asked, but Arizona and Mark had always told her it was a special thing. It just meant she got a little more love, and who wouldn't want that?

"You're so big."

"I know," she said. "Daddy says before I know it, I'll be at prom."

"Oh God," Arizona replied.

"What's prom?" she asked.

"It's a party for really big, big kids."

"Like Sloan?"

"A little younger than her, but yeah," she nodded.

"Oh," she said. "Little kids not allowed?"

"Nope."

"No fun."

Arizona gave Sofia some yogurt and started to toast the bread for her toast.

"Toast again, huh?" Alena asked.

"Because it's yummy," Sofia nodded.

"I know."

"You have your madre's stubbornness," Arizona told the five-year-old

"She only eated toast, too?"

"No," Arizona smiled. "But when you make up your mind, there's no changing it. She was the same way."

"And I think she liked toast," Sofia decided. "Everybody does."

* * *

><p>"Sofia Robbin Sloan!" Arizona called out. "Come on! You're gonna be late for big school."<p>

"I can't believe she's five already," Alena said.

"You can't?" she asked. "You didn't see her when she was literally a pound. To think that that little baby grew up to be her is insane."

"What do you think about having another one?" she asked.

It had been on her mind for awhile now, but Alena had been nervous to bring it up. She knew her girlfriend hadn't wanted children before Sofia came along, but she also knew that that little lady was Arizona's entire world now. Maybe, hopefully, she would want to add to the family. Alena loved Sofia, but she did want more kids one day.

"Someday," Arizona decided. "Not now, but eventually."

"Really?"

"Really," she nodded. "I have zero desire to be pregnant, but I know it's something you want. And Sofia'd love to have a little one around. And, surprisingly, I love being a mommy. So, yeah."

"Good."

Sofia came out of her bedroom. "I look pretty enough," she decided. "We could go now."

"You're so funny," Arizona said. "Of course you look pretty."

"Daddy says I'm the prettiest girl he knows," she said as Arizona put her princess backpack on for her. "Well, and Lexie and Sloan."

"Yeah."

"Mommy…?" she asked.

"What?"

"How long is big school?"

"You're done at three o'clock," she said. "Auntie Meredith's gonna pick you and Zola both up. She'll be done work, but we won't be. But I think she's gonna bring you to the hospital so you and Zola can tell us all about it."

"Zola's in my class?"

"Maybe."

"I hope."

* * *

><p>"Sofia!" Little Zola squealed as she saw her best friend walk into the classroom. "Daddy, it's Sofia!"<p>

"I see her," Derek chuckled. "You're in the same class."

"Good."

Derek was still there because the teacher was allowing the parents to stay for the first hour to help ease their children in if they were unsure. Meredith had left work just long enough to be able to drop Zola off with Derek, but she had had to go back.

"Zola, is Kindergarten fun?" Sofia asked, assuming the extra few minutes Zola had been there gave her so much knowledge about this new place.

"Yeah," she smiled.

Sofia turned around. "See my pack-pack?" she asked. "I picked it out all by myself. But my daddy paid the money 'cause I don't got a job."

The adults all laughed.

"What's your name?" the teacher asked as she came over to Sofia. "I'm Mrs. Rollins."

"My name is Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres," she answered.

"Hi, Sofia," she smiled. "Welcome to my class."

"Zola is my friend," she told her.

"I see," she said. "Would you girls like to draw a picture of your family to share with the class?"

"Okay," Zola replied. "I got a new puppy. Can I put her?"

"Sure," Mrs. Rollins nodded. "What's her name?"

"Tequila," Zola said, proudly.

"Oh."

"Clearly she didn't pick it," Derek laughed as their girls went off to draw.

"Hey!" Arizona protested. "We don't get kisses?"

Sofia came back over and gave Arizona and Alena both kisses. "That's my mommy," she explained to Mrs. Rollins. "And Alena. She's kinda my mommy, too. Like Lexie. Oh, and I gots a madre in Heaven."

"You've got a big family, huh?" her teacher asked. "Lucky girl."

"It's cause mommy and daddy both like girls," she said. "Daddy and Lexie is cuttin' somebody open so they're not here."

"We're surgeons," Arizona explained as Sofia went back to her drawing.

"All of you?" Mrs. Rollins asked. "How do you get anything done?"

"Caffiene," she said.

"My sister's a surgeon and I hardly ever see her. I couldn't imagine how surgeons manage with kids. Good for you."

"The four parents thing helps," Arizona said. "But yeah."

* * *

><p>Sofia was almost done her picture when Mark walked in. "We've been told we have to wait until she's finished," Arizona said. "I could be rounding, but I'm waiting for her to add flowers to the grass."<p>

He laughed and went over. "Sofia…" he said.

She looked up. "Daddy!"

"Shhh…" he said. "Inside voice."

"You comed to my class," she smiled.

"I did," he nodded. "Just for a few minutes, though. Then Mommy, Alena, and I have to go to work."

"I know," she said. "See my picture, Daddy?"

"I love it," he replied. "But why is my hair green?"

"I gave you a bow," she said.

"Lovely."

"How do you spell daddy?" she asked.

She knew how to spell her own name – and her sister's since it was a part of her full name - so they were written under their places in the picture, but she didn't know how to spell anyone elses.

"D-A-D-D-Y."

"Oh," she said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I love Kindergarten."

"I'm glad."

* * *

><p>"Our kid is at school right now," Arizona said as she ate lunch with Mark that afternoon. "That can't be right."<p>

"Yep," he said. "Where did our baby go?"

"I spent all morning asking myself that."

"I asked Lexie about having another one," Mark said. "Is that weird? Part of me thinks it's werid. I mean, Sloan's twenty-four. But Sofia's only five. And Sloan was older when she was born too."

"What is with you people?" she asked him.

"What?"

"Alena asked about having one, too."

"Oh. And…?"

"One day," she said, taking a bite out of her apple. "What about Lexie?"

"She wants to get married first," she said. "Little does she know, I'm also working on that."

"You bought a ring?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Wow. Today's been a big day."

"Yep."


	7. Little Brothers

"It's us!" Mark called out as he walked into Arizona's house.

She and Alena had bought it six months ago when they started trying to have another child. Mark and Lexie had moved into a house about a year ago as well, so Sofia was enjoying having more space to play and two backyards. Now that her parents lived farther apart, she did express feeling like she was missing the others when she was away, but they did their best to make it work. Overall, Sofia was a very happy eight-and-a-half-year-old.

"Cole!"

Sofia ran out of the kitchen and went to meet her dad and her little brother, thirteen month old Cole.

"Are you baking?" Mark asked when he saw his daughter's personalized purple apron was on.

"Yep," she said.

"What are you making?" he wondered.

"Cookies that look like the states," she said. "Alena says yummy stuff helps me learn gooder."

"Does she bake anything to teach grammar?" he joked.

"No."

"Hi," Cole smiled.

"Hi, Cole," Sofia smiled, taking her little brother's hand. "Wanna come in my kitchen and make cookies?"

"Hi," he said again.

"I already said hi. Say 'yes, Sofia!'"

Cole shook his little head as they walked into the kitchen. "Is that asking too much?" Mark laughed.

"Hey, Cole!" Arizona smiled. "Did Daddy bring you over here to hang out with us?"

"Say 'hi' to them," Sofia told her brother.

They didn't understand why – because he loved Arizona – but he would always play shy with his sister's mom. He found ignoring her absolutely hilarious, even though she was also one of his favourite playmates when he'd forgot about playing shy. He probably did it just to get attention, and it worked. The adults found it just as funny as he did.

"Hi, Cole," Alena said.

"Hi," he replied in his tiny voice.

"How come she gets a hi?" Arizona questioned. "Silly boy!"

"Can Cole help us bake?" Sofia asked Mark.

"Yep," Mark said. "Actually, I'm not staying long. I've gotta go to work."

"Oh."

"But Cole's gonna stay here until Lexie can get him."

"Okay!"

"C'mere, Big Boy," Arizona smiled picking the toddler up and sitting him on some empty counter space.

Cole giggled.

"Cole, if you help bake, you have to do a good job," Sofia said. "This is for my school. It's important."

"He'll be a great helper," Alena smiled. "Right?"

"He doesn't have an apron that says 'Cole'," Sofia replied. "Like I have a Sofia one."

"That's okay," Arizona said. "Maybe we can get him one."

"And the new baby," Sofia decided.

Alena was just shy of her twentieth week and they had found out today that Sofia would soon have another little brother.

"He'll need one too," Alena agreed. "Yep."

"He?" Mark asked. "You caved and found out? After you and Callie insisted I wasn't allowed to when she was pregnant?"

"Sofia begged," Alena replied. "Huh, Sof?"

"Yep," she said. "'Cause I wanted to know."

"Are you happy it's a brother?" Arizona asked.

"I wanted a sister," she answered honestly. "I already have a brother."

"You have a sister, too," Mark laughed.

"But she's big and she don't live here."

"I know."

"But I'll like two brothers," she smiled. "Then the next time, it could be a sister."

Arizona laughed. She was looking forward to having two children, but three wasn't the plan. Two would be it for their family. They didn't feel like they could handle more than that. Plus, it was sort of nice that they'd have one of each. It felt balanced and right.

"You're gonna have to talk to Lexie about that one," she told her.

Cole had been busy dipping his hand into some flour and he placed it on Alena's rounded belly. "Well, thanks!" she smiled. "Did Sofia's other brother need some flour?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"He did?" Alena asked. "I think you just like messes."

"Yeah."

"Is making cookies fun, Cole?" Mark asked, taking a picture of the kids with his phone and sending it to Lexie.

"Yeah."

"Do you like the word 'yeah?'" Sofia asked.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Will you talk to me?" Arizona wondered.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Gotcha!" she replied. "You talked to me!"

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna know how to take care of Robbie," Sofia said as she helped Arizona fold receiving blankets that they had just washed and dried so that they would be ready for her new brother's arrival.<p>

"You are, huh?" she asked. "Even how to change his diapers?"

"Just pee ones."

"I see."

"Because I help with Cole."

"I know."

It was cute to see how excited Sofia was for her brother. They knew she would be, but they didn't realize just how much she'd want to help with. She hadn't helped out as much at first with Cole because she had been unsure about how. Now that their baby would be her second baby sibling, she was acting like the third mommy. Of course, they wouldn't expect her to do their jobs or anything, but an extra hand once and awhile would be nice.

"I hope Robbie comes tomorrow," she said. "Because it's Saturday, so I won't be at school."

"Well, we'll see."

"And I don't wanna be at school. I wanna get to meet him soon."

"I know," she said. "Whose birthday is Tuesday?"

"Madre's."

Arizona was hoping that her son would arrive any day but Tuesday. While she couldn't wait to meet him, she didn't want to have to associate his day with Callie. She had moved on and she loved Alena, but that didn't mean she didn't still love Callie. It wasn't as if they had broken up or something. No, Callie had died leaving her daughter behind to be raised by just Mark and her. She couldn't help but keep Callie's memory alive in her mind and heart. Luckily, Alena understood this.

"Yep."

"How old would she be?"

"Forty-three," she answered.

"That's old."

"I'm older than that!" she replied. "Only by a little bit, but…"

"You are?"

"Yes!" she laughed.

"You don't act old."

"Gee, thanks."

* * *

><p>Big Sister Sofia got her wish. Robert Allan Timothy Felix – his middle names being after Alena's dad and Arizona brother – was born the next day. It actually happened in the middle of the night, at two in the morning.<p>

Sofia was over at Mark's and fast asleep but she woke up when she heard the phone ring. Mark and Lexie assumed she was still fast asleep, so they didn't go tell her yet.

"Is Robbie here?" she came downstairs to ask after waiting and waiting.

"Yeah," Mark nodded, holding out his phone to show her the picture Arizona had sent.

"He's little."

"You think that's little?" he asked her. "You were just a pound when you were born."

"Because I was early, Daddy."

"Yeah. But still. He's not little compared to you."

"Can we go see him?"

"Not yet, Honey," Lexie said. "Alena and Mommy are gonna get some sleep. In the morning, we'll go meet him, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Of course! You're the big sister."

* * *

><p>"You can stop doing assessments on him," Alena laughed as she watched Arizona checking Robbie over again.<p>

"I'm not used to healthy kids," Arizona admitted. "Sof was a micro-preemie and all my patients need surgery."

"Well, he's healthy," Alena smiled. "Right, Little Man?"

They could hear the commotion that Sofia and Cole always created in the halls of Seattle Grace Mercy West. Their fellow surgeons and all of the nurses always felt the need to 'ooo' and 'aww' over the siblings.

"Your sister and Cole are here," Arizona said as she picked him up. "And soon, people'll be doing that to you, too. Because you're cute!"

They walked in. "Hey, Big Sister," Alena smiled.

"Hi," she said quickly. "Can I hold him, Mom?"

"Nice to see you, too," Arizona laughed. "But yes. Come sit."

Sofia sat on the foot of the bed and held out her arms. "One hand on his head, and the other on his bum."

"I know," she said with an eye roll.

"Well, okay then, Miss Big Sister Expert."

"That's me!" Sofia told her little brother.

"Robbie, this is Sofia. Your sister."

"And my daddy and Cole and Lexie came, too."

"Baby!" Cole squealed.

"Yeah, Sofia's got another baby brother!" Mark smiled.

"Baby!"

"I think somebody wants his own brother," Alena commented.

"Dream on!" Lexie told Cole as she kissed his cheek. "You and Sofia keep us busy enough!"

"Busy?" he smiled. "Busy lot, Mama?"

Now that he was eighteen months, his vocabulary was taking on a life of its own.

"I am busy a lot," she nodded. "Yes!"

"Ohhh…!"

"Cole, I can share my baby brother with you," Sofia compromised. "You'll be friends."

"I'm sure they will," Mark nodded. "Right, Cole?"

He nodded. "That baby?"

"That is a baby," he laughed. "Yes. Arizona and Alena had a baby! Robbie's his name."

"Ohhh…!" 

**A/N: Yes, I realize Robbie is also Izzie's mom. I've decided that since Izzie has nothing to do with this fic, and since Arizona's last name is Robbins, I don't really care in this case. It fits here. Plus, I prefer Robbie (well...Robert) on a guy. It's just not a girl name to me. (No offense to anybody who likes Robbie for a girl or anything lol)**


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